how the fuck did I just punch myself in the face honestly why is it always me
even managed to bite my fucking tongue. srsly.
Things you’ve probably never thought about
Not a single one of your ancestors has ever failed in getting laid (Most people on tumblr will probably break the chain)
If you are 80 years old, you have lived through over 1/3 of America’s history
At one point, you were the youngest person in the world.
If a woman who is an only child has all boys (or no children at all), they are ending a chain of women that has been going since we were single-celled organisms.
The average human is a 28 year old Chinese man.
Dinosaurs were alive for longer than they have been extinct.
You breathe using just one nostril, then switch to the other 30 minutes later. Repeats for life. (After reading this pay attention)
In 30 or 40 years, people will be having 2000s parties. Just like now people throw “dress like the 70s” parties.
John Lennon is part of a group that has sold more CD’s than anyone else in the history of human life, and he never knew what a CD even was.
Grossness and morals define each other. For example, you won’t spit in the mouth of your girlfriend, yet you will kiss her.
You spend years seeing the same people often and you’ll never exchange words with them.
People hundreds of years from now will stumble upon your image without thought or emotion.
Everyone dies within six months of their birthday.
50% of all doctors graduated in the lower half of their class.
Mammals are just containers water uses to move itself from one place to another.
Many peoples most cherished beliefs come from 1st century writers and religious fanatics whose understanding of the natural world was below the level of a modern 5 year old.
The “food pyramid” that most of us grew up with was published by the US dept of agriculture. Their job is to promote agriculture, not to promote healthy eating.
80% of the images on the internet are of naked women.
If we ever meet superior aliens they will simply classify us under “violent, irrational apes” and will not be amazed by our art or philosophies, the same way we boringly classify newly discovered animals every year.
When the sun goes out, our descendants that watch it go out won’t be human.
When you’re about to die, you’ll regret all the days you took for granted.
We magnify the differences between us, instead of the things that make us similar. You are not really any different than anyone else on earth that is your age, yet you feel like you are just because they speak a different language, eat different food, worship a different imaginary creature, or live somewhere else. In reality, we are all the same species living on the same planet. To bears, we probably look exactly the same.
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IT’S FUCKING BREATHE SCREAMS AND STABS EVERYTHING
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Don´t Stop Me Now - Queen
FOREVER REBLOG.
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(via fuckyeahhlynz)
I had to reblog this even before I made it halfway through.
lol he’s like “is that a DS what the fuck” and then the ending omg. Tough shit, man.
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